Phone a Friend

I received a desperate email from my friend Al

Hello

I'm in some terrible and horrible situation, I'm stuck in Manila Philippines? I was on a short vacation, Unfortunately  I was mugged at gun point last night, All cash,including credit card and cell phone was stolen away. I have been to the embassy and the Police here but they're not helping issues at all and our flight leaves pretty soon from now but we're having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let us leave until we settle the bills.Please be so kind to reply back so I can tell you what to do and how to get some cash to us. 

Am freaked out here

He always has been a bit of a drama queen, but still he was reaching out and sounded like he was in a bad situation.  I replied...

Gosh Al.   I'm so sorry to hear about your current situation.  On the plus side it sounds like you got over your fear of flying.

A short trip to Manila?!  I thought your passport was revoked over that little "incident".  I know, I know, you were never convicted.  But still I thought those Asia pacific countries looked down on that sort of thing.

Regarding the request for money.  I lent you a simple $20 a few years back and I still haven't seen it.   The gall coming to ask for more you rat bastard. You can always "borrow"(as you call it)  from the kids piggy bank. 

You might also consider asking for a refund for those night courses on creative writing.  The quality of your writing has gone down and I'm afraid your dream of retiring and becoming a novelist just isn't going to come true.

Take care, and good luck.   I call dibs on your golf clubs.

I'm always glad to help out.  Strange part, I haven't heard from him in months.  Maybe I should drop by his house to make sure his plea wasn't real.